Paperback Novel
by Earthborne
Summary: When Nara Shikamaru decided to help runaway heiress Yamanaka Ino, little did he know that his comfortably boring life was going to be very troublesome indeed, with an overprotective father, a plotting boss, nosy paparazzi, not to mention the girl herself.
1. Concrete Girl

Because this is the first chap, I'll give you guys a treat of 10 chapters! Be happy people, I hardly ever write so much for the first chapter of a multi-chapter story!  
And I know that they're sometimes quite out of character, but it's because I don't watch or read Naruto anime/manga. I only know of their personalities through other fanfiction works and my own deductions.

So without further ado, here's the chapter!

Disclaimer: Naruto not I own! Don't mock my England la, I only been here shree months! – Typical Chinese'Engrish.'XD I'm Taiwanese so I can mock myself.

* * *

Nara Shikamaru sat at the bar table, wallowing among shot glasses that once contained Vodka, Whiskey and Tequila. The bartender shook his head, _another one,_ he thought, _another brokenhearted male who fell to the claws of the other gender._

Across the room, on the brightly lit stage, a pole dancer swung her way down the pole with seemingly effortless ease. She had long, platinum blonde hair, tied up into a high ponytail; one bang coming down to curtains the right side of her face. Her glitter eye shadowed eyes were closed in bliss, as she somehow shimmied her way up the long rod in a way that had all the men there watching her desperately needing an ice cold shower.

Then she winked at them, swung upside down by her legs, and you could almost hear the men's IQ dropping. The tight black bikini she wore exposed her long, willowy form and her shapely legs.

She moved with natural grace, her hair swaying silently while her hips followed the movement. The artificial lighting enhanced her ethereal beauty, yet she seemed to give off the glow of allure on her own.

Shikamaru didn't notice as he was downing yet another shot. He grimaced at the fiery pain as it rolled down. He cursed his alcohol tolerance. It took a lot to get him drunk. He'd already had at least 20 glasses now, and his vision was finally starting to blur. He should go, really, he had work tomorrow. Yeah, another glass and he'll go.

_20 minutes later_

"Hey, you. We're closing soon. Got a sober friend to drive you home? Or should I call a cab for you?"

The slightly drunken man looked up, the kind gesture of the bartender seeping through his somewhat foggy brain. He shook his head, though, and was about to get another shot, when he growled in frustration, discarded the tiny glass and instead picked up the whole damn bottle.

"You know, you're gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning." Shikamaru looked up at the voice beside him, finally noticing the woman that had been dancing all over the floor of the stage and the pole, collecting $100 and $50 dollar notes from the drooling men. Her voice was clear, with none of the slur or accent that the lower classes of Konoha used. She was smiling at him; he nodded wearily, acknowledging her statement.

"Yeah, well, that's what I'm going for." He replied shortly, not looking at her and speaking for the first time since he dragged his sorry self to wallow in this pit of a bar. He didn't even talk to the bartender; just pointed at the bottles and the bartender knew the rest. She smiled even more, showing her pearly white teeth.

"Touché." She commented, flicking her hair back, and regarded him slowly. He had nice, angular features, a high nose, and his black hair was tied up into a high ponytail, giving him a pineapple hairdo. His slanted eyes were black; slightly bloodshot from the river of liquor he had drunk. But she could still tell he was a handsome man, and smart; his eyes told her that. They might have been clouded and hazy, but when the alcohol occasionally lifted, she could see the intelligent spark within them.

The tight black shirt he wore defined his toned body, the firm muscles outlined and his broad shoulders stretching the fabric slightly. Ino cocked her head, unashamed in checking him out so blatantly. _Damn, those tight jeans look hot on him_ she thought, unabashed.

"It's rude to stare." He intoned flatly, still not looking at her; instead he eyed the full bottle of whisky besides the bartender. Said person was cleaning a glass, listening to their conversation.

"So, I'm guessing you were just dumped by another one of my gender?" She asked, ignoring his comment. She was still looking at the nummy man from the corners of her eyes.

"No. I dumped her a month ago and it's still making me feel guilty as hell, even though that's not logical at all, and I'm a very logical person." His answer surprised both her and the eavesdropping bartender.

"Why?"

"I was just born logical. Everyone says I'm a genius, but I just have common sense. Everyone is just stupid, that's all." Alcohol was making him babble a bit.

"No, I meant, why are you feeling guilty? I don't give a rat's ass why you're logical." She snapped impatiently. Slightly irked that he was calling people stupid.

"She was cheating on me. With her own criminally insane brother, for god's sake." He bit off each word with ferocity. "Sure, she was adopted, but that's still wrong. She didn't want to tell me, but I found out anyway and dumped her. I might have been a bit irrational though."

"Why would she be tossing with her brother when she's got a guy like you?" It wasn't a true compliment, just a question. One elbow on the counter and her head resting in her hand, she cocked her head to look at him questioningly.

"She didn't mean to. She loved me, but she adored her brother, for reasons unknown. Gaara always looked rather incapable of feeling to me." He'd slipped up, mentioning Temari's brother's name, but he didn't care right now. The blonde's eyes widened.

"_The_ Gaara? The one who brutally killed the burglar breaking into his room at the age of 10? And went on to another rampage when he was 17? Wasn't he locked- oh, yea… he broke out." She let out a low whistle. "That is some impressive soap opera you've got there." He nodded glumly.

"So you decided to come to this shady bar and have a little self-pity party, eh?" She smirked, leaning closer to him. He didn't notice, again. The bartender, surreptitiously close to them and still cleaning the same glass, frowned; this was a very prestigious bar! Some of the Konoha's elite came here! He sighed, and wept silently inside; no one appreciated him and his bar.

"Yeah, I did. What are you doing here, anyway?" He finally turned to look at her.

The alcohol managed to let off long enough for his vision to become clear, and the first feature he saw about her were her large eyes. They were pale azure, with flecks of navy and cerulean, and a midnight blue ring around them. The false lashes she wore magnified her stunning eyes even more. No doubt about it, she was a real knocker. But he cared less; he'd seen his share of beauties, and Temari was definitely one of them, and he'd just dumped her. Her skin was a bit pale, but not enough to look sickly. She wore hip-hugging jeans and a blue halter-top, advertising her curves and slender frame.

She raised one elegant eyebrow. _Is this guy blind or something?_ "I work here." She finally answered, watching him steadily for a reaction. "I'm a pole dancer." He raised his own eyebrows this time, but didn't comment. He should have known; women who were pretty knew they were, and used it to their advantage.

After a long silence, she finally spoke. "You're not much of a talker, are you? Guess you're not a talkative drunk. I hate those more than the violent drunks or the sick drunks. Then you have the weepy drunks, the truthful drunks, the giggly drunks, the sleepy drunks, the groping drunks and the delusional drunks, but talkative drunks are still the worse." He smiled wryly at that; he'd talked more with her in the past hour than one of his friends in a week.

She suddenly smiled mischievously, and leaned closer to him again. She blew softly into his ear, and he unconsciously moved away. She pouted, her pretty face scrunched together in a childishly puzzled frown.

"Why," She said slowly, "are you the only man in this bar who doesn't want to screw me?" Her point was emphasized when one of the leering, drunken men lumbering past tried to grab her chest. Her arm shot out and twisted the arm to an impossible angle, until the man collapsed, wheezing and sobbing, from the pain.

He turned his head to look at her, fixing her with his dark, unwavering gaze. "I don't think with my dick, and I'm not out for a pity-fuck." She laughed not a tinkle-silver-bell-laugh, but a real, full laugh. She liked him; one of the rare men in a long time who hadn't looked at her with lustful hunger.

"Oi, Ino. I'm closing here soon. Get the sorry lump to a cab or something, will ya?" The bartender said, peering closely at the pair as he cleared away the sea of shot glasses.

"Sure, Nick." She replied, sighing to look at the slumped form of the drunken man. But Shikamaru had already gotten up, fishing keys from his back pocket and slouching off to the exit.

She followed him, stepping over the cop-a-grope man. "Hey, hey! You're not sober enough, okay? I'll just call you a cab to get you home." He turned to look at her, and found out that she was just a bit shorter than he was. If he didn't slouch and she took off the heels, she would probably come up to his nose. Perfect kissing distance, a voice at the back of her mind whispered. He scowled fiercely.

"I just used up all my cash for the drinks. And I'm sober enough. It takes a lot of alcohol to get me drunk." She believed him; he didn't walk funny or drunkenly, his speech wasn't slurred, and the haze had gone from his eyes. If she hadn't seen the shot glasses before, she wouldn't have believed this was a drunk man.

"Yeah, but what if the police catches you?"

"I'll take my chances." He replied in his monotone, clearly impatient.

"I'll drive you." She offered suddenly, and surprised both him and herself. He raised his eyebrows again, wondering if she'd gone off her rockers.

"You want to drive a man back to his apartment?" He said incredulously, looking at her up and down. She crossed her arms over her chest, not liking his somewhat sexist remark.

"So? I'm quite sure you're not going to rape me, considering you must've had enough of women. And see these arms? They're not just for pole dancing, you know. I learned karate from when I was 8, and I'm a black belt. I'll just take a bus home when I drop you off." She smiled smugly at him. Take that, chauvinistic male!

He didn't say anything, hoping she'd realize what that stupid action, had it been someone other than him, would lead to. But she seemed resolute, looking at him with her nose in the air and a haughty look in her eyes. He felt he was in déjà vu all over again; he was attracted to her, and that would have been fine, it was normal, but she was acting a lot like Temari was, before she went wonky and decided to commit incest with her murderous brother.

But he sighed, deciding that it was not worth the trouble of arguing with her, and nodded. She grinned triumphantly, and bounced over to him to take his keys. She hopped out of the underground entrance, and waited for him to lead.

xxx

Around a block, turned a corner, and there it was – his prized car, an expensive silver BMW manual that his boss had given to him as a sign of appreciation for his work. It was unusually kind of the boss, so he accepted it; and anyway, he didn't want to argue with Tsunade; it took too much energy and she would call him ungrateful and then he'd have to deal with her angry glares for a month.

The girl, Ino, he remembered, was practically squealing when she saw the car. "OH MY GOD! The latest model! I didn't know you were this rich! I mean, most of the idiots that go to that bar are all rich, but you're filthy rich!" She giggled, and splayed herself over the hood of the car, apparently enjoying the feel of "New Car Paint". Shikamaru simply went to the passenger side of the car, and waited patiently for her to unlock it.

She jumped inside immediately when she opened the lock, inhaling the "Fresh Car Leather" scent. She giggled again and bounced in her seat. Shikamaru was beginning to get the feeling that it was a bad idea.

After she inspected everything thoroughly, insulted his taste in music ("Coldplay is SO overrated!), threw away the pine air freshener (""Fresh Car Leather Smell" is the best!"), they finally drove off. Interestingly, she handled herself and the car pretty well, like an expert. She smiled dreamily as she wove through the busy streets of Konoha. Shikamaru leaned against the window, watching the flashing lights go past.

"Oh, yeah, I don't even know your name yet!" She exclaimed, startling him out of his stupor. "I'm Yamanaka Ino." She stated carefully, keeping an eye on him for a reaction.

"I'm Nara Shikamaru." He replied, trying to go back to his light doze. Her name ran a bell somewhere, but he discarded the thought. Sleep was much too inviting than a talk with the blonde.

"Where do you live again?" She asked, her eyes on the road as she took a graceful turn. He sighed; she obviously wanted to talk, she was going exactly on the way to his apartment.

"758 Sakurato Avenue."

"Hmm, a nice,_ rich_ suburb. What did you say you worked as?" She asked, turning to look at him while she waited for the lights. She was about as subtle as a brick to the forehead.

"I didn't tell you. I work as a lawyer." Of course, that was just a mild cover-up. He did work as a lawyer sometimes, but mostly he worked for the government. Damn his strategy skills! He wanted to go off and sleep, look after some deer in the wildlife preserve but nooooo, his father just had to send his IQ report to the bloody government. And now he was stuck with his job; at least it paid well.

"What rank?" She questioned absently, bewitched by a billboard advertising make-up. His head shot up; his gaze sharpened and he looked at her carefully. 80 percent of the population of Konoha didn't know or care that lawyers have classes and ranks. To them, it was just either 'lawyer', 'solicitor', or 'attorney', and it all meant the same thing to them. He was one of the very, very few lawyers that managed to become a barrister, and at only 20, the youngest in history.

He pieced the jigsaw together: her speech was unlike that of street people, whom pole dancers usually grew up with and hung around; she learned karate, that wasn't cheap, and she said she'd been learning since she was eight. Her teeth were pearly white and even, quite rare for normal people. She drove the BMW manual with familiarity; most people would be fumbling to use it, and even he had just adjusted himself to the car's demands. She knew that lawyers have ranks; the 20 percent of the Konoha population that knew this were either the rich or elite, or just the lawyers themselves. Her name rang a bell…

And finally it struck him, Yamanaka! Yamanaka corps was one of the companies that secretly ran the world! They specialized in warfare (and strangely, flowers), and were the name underneath everything. People didn't really know that they exist, to them Yamanaka corps was just a large company that dealt with flowers and electronics. But Shikamaru wasn't normal; he knew that everything would eventually lead back to the company. After all, he was Konoha's best military strategist; without him, Konoha would have been taken over a long time ago by the ambitious Otogakure (sound) country.

He let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding when he realized why the girl was so tense about telling him her name. _Yamanaka's not a really common name, but she must have found it safe enough to use if she told me,_ he thought.

"Why are you a pole dancer?" _When you could be living in a palace?_ She stiffened, not extremely visibly, but enough for Shikamaru to notice. She gave a false, fluttery laugh.

"Well, that's rather personal, but it should be so obvious. I need some quick cash, and being a pole dancer was the quickest way without having to sell my body. And it's exhilarating, being able to collect so much money just by working out my body." She replied in a too-bright voice, suppressing the tingling nerves in her body. She had caught the underlying tone in his question, but wasn't sure.

Shikamaru was pissed off with women lying to him in general. In his defense, he was drunk, so his thoughts had to be off-kilter.

"I'm not sure that the heiress of Yamanaka Corps would need 'quick cash' when she could buy an island with the money she finds in her car seat cushions." His voice dripped with sarcasm. He blinked; that was out of character for him. Usually he wouldn't have cared; he'd just accept the information and got on with life. _It must be because she reminds me of Temari,_ he thought bitterly.

The effects of his words were startling and instantaneous. Her shoulders slumped, her entire posture claiming defeat. She banged her head on the steering wheel, accidentally activating the horn for two brief honks. Other cars honked back in greeting.

"So you know." She replied gravely, the life suddenly out of her, and her brilliant blue eyes were clouded. "Thought I could escape, but unfortunately, it never happens that way, does it?"

Shikamaru frowned; _why is she mumbling to herself?_ The light turned green, and she drove on, closer to his home.

"Escape?" He questioned, curious as to why a girl like her, born with not just silver, but a solid platinum jewel encrusted spoon in her mouth, would want to get away and become a _pole dancer._

"My… father wanted me to marry. To further increase his wealth and power, and also to make sure I was in safe hands, where he could always protect me. He loves me though, and I him, but… the person he wanted me to marry, he… my best friend is in love with him, and I can't just break them up like that! So… I refused, my dad got mad, we had a fight, and I ran away…" She sniffled, remembering those painful memories, and the hurtful words she flung at her father, even though he simply had her best interest at heart.

"My dad is of course, going crazy with worry right now, but he still wants me to marry Sasuke. I won't go back until he ditches the idea. He's almost desperate enough to make it public, but I know he won't. The news would be huge, rival companies would probably search and kidnap me.

"I can't use my card, they would track it. And I can't go to friend's houses either and certainly no permanent residence. I can only call my dad through public phones, hundreds of miles away, so I can throw them off. But they're getting smarter." She was really crying now, tears splashing down her pale cheeks. She swiped at them angrily. Damnit! Yamanaka Ino showed weakness to no body! And certainly not this random guy she's driving home!

"So I got a job as a pole dancer, in a place where it doesn't matter what rank of society you are, they accept. But they don't know I'm related to Inoichi, I just laugh it off as a hilarious coincidence. I don't know how to use a fake name, I never respond to it in time, and they always get suspicious." She finished, just in time to arrive in front of his apartment- sorry, penthouse.

She gave another gut wrenching sob. "I just want to give it up, running from place to place; it's just sheer luck that I've managed to escape dad's men. But everytime I think of Sakura, who's had a crush on Sasuke since we were 6, and I have to keep running, because now that Sasuke's finally noticed her, and beginning to like her even, I can't let dad marry me off to him! His family is also pushing at him, urging him to marry me. We both have no choice, so I had to run away…"

Shikamaru regarded her slowly, his calm outer appearance hiding his inner thoughts, which were in turmoil. She was a kindred spirit, like him, whose world had suddenly changed, but she was worse off; she didn't even have a home.

"How long have you been running?" He asked carefully; she'd just stopped crying, and he didn't want her to start again. He hated it when women cried, it always seemed to be his fault too.

"Six months, give or take a few weeks…" She croaked, wiping at her blue eyes again, sniffing. She didn't cry prettily, like Temari did, but really, Temari never cried for real, not even when he'd dumped her. Her tear-stained face was scarlet and blotchy, her nose was red as well, and her eyes were swollen, leaving streaks of eyeliner and mascara down her face. In her attempt to wipe off her tears, she had smudged the smoky eye shadow she wore, making her look like a panda.

He frowned, weighing pros and cons. She'd been running that long? She must be pretty smart if she was able to dodge Inoichi's men. Impressed, he sighed and came to a conclusion that he knew would result in his doom.

"You can stay at my place if you want." He said gravely, every warning bell, alarm, and klaxon in his mind going off into overdrive. He ignored them, and the small part of his conscience, morality, gallantry, whatever, praised him.

She stared at him with eyes as wide as dinner plates. She sniffled again unconsciously, still staring at him with an open mouth.

"Re- really? You'll l-let me?" The hope, relief, joy and gratitude in her voice made everything rather worthwhile for Shikamaru. He smiled, and she noted absently the way the corners of his eyes would crinkle, and the pre-mature crow's feet would disappear.

"Yes." He replied, taking off his seat belt to turn and look at her.

"You mean it?" She asked tearfully.

"Keh, I just said it, didn't I? I'll let you stay until your father gives the idea up." He said, just a tad impatient. He gave her tissues to wipe her streaming eyes with. She took it absently and automatically wiped her eyes clear. She was still staring at him in hopeful disbelief, so he heaved a dramatic sigh and nodded.

She grinned, laughed, and then launched herself at him to wrap her arms around his neck, just to sob with tears of relief, thoroughly soaking the black shirt he wore. Shikamaru felt his face heating up. He patted her awkwardly on the back while he looked off to the side with a soft muttering of "So troublesome…"

* * *

So there you have it! The first installment of Paperback Novel! The title is actually a tribute to one of my favorite bands, Nickelback. But for a true ShikaxIno song, listen to Maroon 5's 'She Will Be Loved.' I adore both the song and the band. 

Review please!


	2. Bad Day

Hello my good people! I bring you the second chapter of Paperback Novel! Thank you for liking it, I'm really happy. I was almost afraid of putting it up, to tell the truth. :P

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

* * *

"OH MY GOD!" THIS IS SO COOL!" She yelled as she ran into his penthouse. She leaped onto his couch, and for a while she disappeared beneath the soft material. She battled her way out, only to rush into room after room to exclaim at the 'cleanliness' of the apartment. Shikamaru followed her; extremely confused as to why she would consider his house large when she could've lived in a manor.

She ran back and almost bowled Shikamaru over. She was grinning like Christmas had come early.

"Why are you so excited?" Shikamaru questioned as he pried her off him.

"I haven't seen such luxury in six months, remember? This is so cool!" She exclaimed again, then suddenly very formal, she bowed. "Thank you very, very much, Mr. Nara, for willing to put up with me." Then she looked up and gave him one of her most amazing smiles. Her eyes sparkled (because she's been crying, he tried to reason with himself), her cheeks were flushed (she's been running around) her generous lips were a nice tinge of pink (she's been biting on it, of course it's red; and he's trying to convince himself that he was _not_ getting defensive), and it curved up into a uncharacteristic shy smile. _It's a river in Egypt, Shikamaru. _The little voice cackled.

His breath hitched, and a distant but familiar feeling came back to him, of a time when another blonde had smiled at him like that, so full of stubbornness and defiance, this time blended with vulnerability and innocence. Then Ino giggled and skipped to the balcony, and the moment was lost. He followed her again, to where she leaned against the rail on the balcony, and she gazed at the stars.

"It's my hobby," She explained, as he settled down beside her on one of the chairs. "I've loved stars, ever since I was very little." Her tone became wistful. "Then I decided to take it up as a hobby. There's Taurus, and then there's Virgo, my Star sign. I was born on the 23 of September, so that makes me Virgo." She beamed at him.

He cocked an eyebrow. "I was born on the 22." She looked at him with amazement, then laughed, "what a pleasant coincidence!" He decided that he liked her laugh.

Then she changed the topic completely. "Got pudding? It's one of my favorite foods."

He sighed, and decided to bring the subject of accommodation up. "So… are you going to move your stuff in tomorrow?" She turned to look at him.

"Oh… yeah. Guess I will!" Then she frowned. "Can I please sleep on the couch?" This caught him off-guard.

"Er, sure?" He decided not to question her.

After giving her blankets, a spare set of toothbrush-and-toothpaste and an old T-shirt (and found out that she wasn't wearing false lashes after all), he bid her goodnight while she snuggled into the couch. Shikamaru flopped down onto his own king-sized bed. _What have I just got myself into?_ He thought miserably, _am I on some kind of rebound that is making me crazy?_ For all his immeasurable intelligence, Shikamaru couldn't stay awake long enough to figure it out.

* * *

Morning found Shikamaru spread-eagled on his bed, sleeping, until a shaft of sunlight (shone on his face at exactly 7 Am.) woke him up. He sat up, then collapsed, his head throbbing as if someone had just taken a jackhammer to his brain. He lay there for a few minutes' eyes squeezed tightly shut. Even if he had high alcohol tolerance, it didn't mean that he was immune to hangovers. _But wasn't that what I was aiming for yesterday?_ He thought sarcastically. 

Then a girl came be-bopping into his room, carrying a tray that seemed to be glued to her hand. She leaned over him, his blurry vision making out a pair of blue eyes, and blonde hair. A strand fell loose and tickled him, and he groaned with pain when she spoke.

"Hey, you awake?" Her voice was extremely soft, but to him it's as if she just screamed into his ear using a megaphone.

"Argh…" Was his intelligent reply. He dug his burning head into the goose down pillows and tried to tune the world out.

"Take these." She whispered, stuffing his right hand with pills. Aspirin, he noted dimly, as he took the glass she offered him and downed them all together. He nearly threw up; the liquid in the glass wasn't water, it was some weird herbal mix! Then he lay down and groaned miserably.

When he woke up again, it was to the smell of waffles and fresh coffee. When he sat up this time, he wasn't nearly as woozy. Slipping on a T-shirt, he combed his shoulder length hair roughly with his fingers.

Stumbling slightly into the kitchen, he found her – Ino, standing in front of the waffle maker, a cup of coffee in her hand. She turned and smiled at him.

"Hello, feeling okay?" Her voice was still soft, quite mindful of his hangover.

"A lot better. What was that drink?" He mumbled, while reaching for the cup she offered him.

"It's a mixture my butler used to make when I got hangovers. It's nasty, I know, but it certainly makes you feel better!" He nodded, and took a sip.

"Why does my coffee never taste this good?" He groused, as he rolled the rich liquid around his mouth before swallowing. She smiled smugly.

"You have to ground the coffee beans freshly. Then, it's a matter of secrecy. Don't look at me like that, I liked cooking, so my chefs and butlers and maids taught me."

He stopped looking at her with an eyebrow arched in irony, and took another grateful sip.

The waffle maker's alarm went off, and Ino quickly slipped the waffles onto a plate, covered it with maple syrup, a square of butter and gave it to him with another bright smile. He took it with a cocked eyebrow, but he needn't have worried; the waffles were delicious. Ino made herself another batch. Apparently she decided she would help him around the house to pay him back. It suited him fine; she was good at making waffles.

His gaze absently roved over the large kitchen of his penthouse, and then he caught the clock. Plates and utensils clattered as he jumped to his feet, the chair behind falling with a loud thunk. Ino jumped.

"I'm late for work." He moaned, righted the chair and sat down on it again. He would have preferred to sleep than work, but Tsunade would probably rip him a new one tomorrow. He'll have even more troublesome bothers to deal with now. His fault though, he knew he shouldn't have gone drinking on a workday, but did he listen to himself? Of course not. But he did end up with an excellent waffle-chef, so he supposed this negates all the pains he's going through.

"Oh, that. It's okay; your boss called earlier to demand why you're not at work, so I explained to her your situation. She seemed awfully smug about something when she hung up though…" Ino shrugged, shook her head and went back to the softly smoking waffles.

_Dear God,_ he thought with a feeling of impending doom, _Tsunade will never let me live it down. The damn woman's been trying to marry me off since my father let slip I was single again. And being one of the most eligible bachelors in the office doesn't help either._ Ino probably had no idea that when she picked up the phone to answer in her feminine voice, she'd just shifted his work life into another level of hell.

He sighed; something he found out he'd been doing a lot since he met the girl.

"Alright, guess I'll sleep in today." And slouched into the bedroom. Ino frowned, and stomped to his room to demand as to how she was going to move her stuff without his car. She opened the door, then got an eyeful of Shikamaru removing his shirt. He'd been under the blankets that morning, but now he was scowling at her, half-naked and holding a limp shirt between his hands.

"Do you mind?" He snapped, his eyebrows coming together to form one disapproving unibrow. She blushed to the roots of her hair; stammered an apology and shut the door behind her. She leaned against the closed door, her breathing choppy.

She'd seen half-naked men before, but not this close! She covered her face with her hands, and let out a soft giggle.

He was yummy; his chest was lean, finely toned, which confirmed that he went to gyms a lot. He had a soft smattering of hair on his chest, which trailed down over his stomach into his pants. She giggled even more when her thoughts turned to the sewers. But she shook her head; it was ridiculous, but she was actually still a virgin.

At 20 years old, it was acceptable, but her father insisted that she would be married in white. She was a bit of a traditionalist as well, and she wasn't easy, not to mention her attention span and interest was short. A guy could hardly hold her attention for more than a few weeks, if he was lucky. She shook her head again, and went off humming to the waffles that were screaming.

Shikamaru scowled even further, trying to ignore the blush that stained his cheeks. She just had to walk in on him, didn't she? Then he heard giggles from the other side of the door, and he groaned inwardly, the pink blush becoming crimson. The waffle machine was making a racket, and there was a smell of burnt waffles in the air. He sighed with defeat, crawled into the covers of his blankets and tried to forget the whole thing.

* * *

Ino sang "Sugar We're Going Down" by Fall Out Boy as she was driving (she decided to take his car after all) to her little studio near the bar. Unbeknownst to her, she was being followed.  
_"We're going down, down, in an earlier round, and sugar we're going down swinging,"_ She turned the radio up loud; she loved this song.

After she parked, she skipped up the stairs in her teetery high heels. The man in the car could hardly believe his eyes. _How does she DO that?_ He thought to himself. He parked the black (cliché, no?) car a block away. She continued singing as she packed; she didn't have much, just a few necessities here and there, and some trinkets. She went down and gave the landlady her notice, and walked out; the man in the car took multiple pictures.

She drove back to Shikamaru's place, still rather ecstatic at her luck. She lugged the heavy boxes under her arms, stepped into the escalator, somehow balanced the boxes, inserted the penthouse key and waited. Upon entering the apartment, she declared herself exhausted, and shook Shikamaru awake to help her unpack. He grumbled, and muttered, "Troublesome woman…" But he helped anyway.

* * *

Sorry it's kinda short this time, but it's late and my vision is blurring and a migraine is burrowing its way into my skull. It always seems longer in Word... 

Review please and I shall be eternally grateful!

Cheers!  
Earthborne


	3. Poparazzi

Thank you, everyone, for reviewing and making my life worth living. I have a new purpose now, even if I do procrastinate like hell. You'll have to excuse me on that part.

Check my forums people, I put updating dates there and general notices for you guys.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I just use the characters for my own twisted pleasure. :aims and shoots gun at Naruto's feet: "Dance little man! Dance for me!"

* * *

The next morning at 6 am, Ino and Shikamaru were awakened by the sound of insistent knocking at the door. Shikamaru growled and climbed out of bed; Ino muttered curses and struggled up from the couch. They both stumbled to the door, Ino first. Shikamaru just yawned and shrugged, not thinking clearly. 

The blonde girl opened the door, only to have a bright flash go off in both their faces. They blinked simultaneously, and were still shaking off the bright spots in their vision, when another few went off.

The photographer took off down the stairs, leaving the stairway door to the penthouse slamming. The lock was broken. (Penthouses have escalators that need keys to activate, but in case of emergencies, the stairways still lead to the room. They are always locked, but the photographer had broken it.)

Ino swore in 7 different languages, rushing to the door and opening it; but it was no use; the man had gotten away.

"SHIT! MERDE! MIERDA! MERDA! SCHEIBE! RIEN! MALDICION! FLUCH!" She swore as she hopped up and down and did a little dance of apocalyptic fury. Shikamaru swore too, quietly, under his breath. Someone must have recognized her, followed her here, and now they were both in deep, deep, shit. He groaned as he banged his head against the wall. Ino was still fuming; her eyes filled with dark promises of pain to the photographer, swearing to herself that she will beat the fear of god and Yamanaka into him.

"Was that paparazzi?" He asked at last, when she'd finished cursing.

"I don't know. It might be…" She suddenly sounded very afraid. "I- I can't stay here, Shikamaru! It's not safe anymore. If my father sent that guy, you'd disappear in a week! If it's by a rival company, they'll blame you for the kidnapping! If it's the media- they'll tear you to shreds! You won't get a moment's rest! The picture! Me, in my pajamas, and you, half-naked! Ohmygodohmygod!"

Her anguished wailing echoed off the staircase walls, and she started hyperventilating, and the tears were already in her eyes, but she didn't cry.

He sighed and slapped her gently, jolting her out of hysteria.

"It's ok, Ino. It's fine; you don't have to go. If you do, they'll catch you eventually, and they'd probably have to drag you back kicking and screaming. But if you stay, you can meet them head on with dignity." He reasoned, hoping she wouldn't realize that it wasn't the solution to their problem. He'd worry about it later.

She bit her lip, worrying it with her teeth. "But…"

"No buts; I have a few connections, so I might be able to stop the photos from being published."

She hugged him, "Thank you, Shika! You're so nice to me…" She told his chest. Then she leaned up on her tiptoes, and kissed him twice on the cheek. She dried her eyes with the corner of her shirt, and ran back to the room to get dressed.

He stood there; still a bit dazed by the kisses she'd pressed into his cheek. He touched it slightly; one foggy part of mind noting that she'd called him "Shika." And he found that he didn't mind it at all.

* * *

When Shikamaru left for work two hours later, Ino promised him that she wouldn't go anywhere. She'd simply stay home and watch television. 

Outside of his office, Shikamaru braced himself, then opened the door. Loud cheers greeted them, and Tsunade, his boss with a gambling problem, stood in the middle of the crowd with a smirk on her pretty face. The man with the insanely high IQ groaned with exasperation.

"Someone just scored!" A lackey yelled.

"Got laid last night, Nara?" Another crowed.

"What's her phone number? Is she free?"

Shikamaru bristled at that. "Just because a girl answered my phone does not mean we fucked!" The room fell silent at his snarl. Then everyone started whispering; Shikamaru had never, in the whole 5 years that they've known him, used that kind of tone before. He was laid back, he was normally passive, he wouldn't even bat an eyelash if someone were to stab him in the back with a letter opener!

People eventually dispersed, unnerved by his glare. Tsunade was the only one that remained there, her eyebrows arched in question. Shikamaru ignored her, and slouched off to his office, another tedious day of positioning armies and people just to fight a war that was never going to end.

During the day he made phone calls and typed e-mails to his 'connections' to see if any one of them had photos sent to them. They all replied that they haven't, and Shikamaru was getting frustrated.

Tsunade came in during lunchtime, holding two lunch boxes with one hand and utensils in the other. Chouji, his plump best friend who was the expert in tank weaponry, trailed after her, two large portions of lunch in his hand, all for himself.

"Shikamaru! Lunch's ready!" She cried as she closed the door with her heel. Said person slept on, oblivious. A blonde eyebrow ticked, a vein pulsed and she punched him awake. Chouji didn't even flinch or look up as he sat down to tuck into his lunch. Food came first, as even talking (and sometimes breathing) was second.

"Oww…"Shikamaru complained, just for the sake of it, not because it actually hurt.

"Everyday that I come in here to give you your lunch, and I catch you sleeping on the job? I don't pay you to sleep, Nara!" She yelled at him in a friendly way. It was almost tradition; lunch wouldn't feel right if she didn't have to punch him awake and then shout at him.

He shook his head when she offered lunch to him; instead, he reached into his briefcase and took out a neatly wrapped, brand new bento box. Tsunade and Chouji raised both eyebrows; this was a new one, Shikamaru actually bothering to make his own lunches? Then Tsunade was struck with fear; was Armageddon already upon them?

"The person staying at my house _temporarily_, made it." Shikamaru explained, interpreting her expressions well. "Don't get any funny ideas, Tsunade. I only met her yesterday. She was… lost, and I decided to help her. So don't gossip." He warned, when she began to smirk knowingly. "And you, don't think I don't know that you've been plotting too." Chouji tried to look innocent, but he couldn't keep his face straight. Then both him and Tsunade burst out laughing.

"Oh, damn, I think I'm bleeding internally from laughing too hard." Chouji wheezed.

"I think I broke a rib..." The older woman snorted.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and opened the lunch box. Then he blinked, and blinked again; inside the box, rice was packed tightly into the largest square with a pickled plum on top, then rows of tiny smoked mackerel in another square, then finally some cold salted kelp in the last square.

Tsunade peered over and then had to hide her snicker and grin by pretending to cough. So, the girl that he picked up only _yesterday_, staying at his house _temporarily_, _somehow_ knew his favorite food? Shikamaru looked over the bento to glare at her; but she didn't stop laughing, it was hilarious to watch Shikamaru looking silly with embarrassment. He looked away, a pink blush staining his heated cheeks. She continued to snigger, and Chouji was grinning like he just won the lottery for food. Their eyes met and they shared the same thought: this girl is going to have Shikamaru more whipped than his old man.

Shikamaru sighed. _I try to live each day quietly, I extend a hand of help to a maiden in distress, and suddenly my world goes upside down? No good deed goes unpunished, I suppose._ He thought wearily as he began to eat the lunch that Ino had slipped into his briefcase when he wasn't looking. The fact that it tasted absolutely delicious did not help his mood. He'd just found out about it that morning, but he hadn't bothered to open it. How Ino actually did find out about his favorite food was puzzling, but he dropped it; he'd ask her later.

Later that day, men were smirking at him; women simply smiled sappily. Shikamaru wished he could just curl up into a ball and sleep. Or die, he didn't really care either way.

* * *

"I'm home," he called out as he slammed the door behind him. When no one answered, he looked around the rooms, only to find Ino sprawled out over his bed. Shikamaru frowned slightly at the sight she presented, _What the?_ He stepped closer, and saw that her head was tilted to the side, drooling on the covers. The Egyptian cotton hunter green blankets had apparently been kicked off at one point in her napping. A sweat drop hung on his head. 

"Troublesome, bothersome woman…" He muttered as he picked her limp form up, and carefully carried her over to the couch, where he deposited her body into the softness and tucked her in. Shoulders slumped; he walked off into the bathroom to change and shower. Ino turned around and yawned, giggled and muttered "Hmm, pudding… Shika! Hehe…"

* * *

"How did you know my favorite foods were mackerel and kelp?" He asked around dinnertime that night. Ino looked up from her pasta eating, wiped her already clean mouth and smiled at him. 

"Well, it's not hard to figure out when the pantry is full of them." He nodded in resignation; he should have known.

"Thanks for the bento today… it was… delicious." He thanked the salt shaker, too embarrassed to look at her properly.

Ino giggled, the sight of Shikamaru desperately trying to look into her eyes but failing to do so making her feel good that she'd gone to the trouble of making him one. She used to make bento for her dad as well. Actually, he refused to eat any lunch unless his daughter made it.

Her face fell slightly when she thought of her father again. Shikamaru noted this, but didn't say anything. They finished the rest of their dinner in companionable silence.

Shikamaru lay in bed, listening to the snores coming from the female in the other room. He scowled when he remembered the photographer from before. Tomorrow would be very chaotic, to say the least.

That was the understatement of the year.

* * *

What a short chapter. Promise I'll do a better job next time! Ehehe... Care to review and make me happy? I know I tend to use a lot of breaks. Hopefully they'll ease up in the next few chapters. 

Cheers!  
Earthborne


	4. Crooked Teeth

Don't kill me for the late update. Thank you all for your very wonderful reviews, they made me ecstatic. Hope you guys actually like this chapter, cos I certainly don't. :P  
Check out my forums, peeps! They give the explanations for all my weird chapter names.

I hate how I made Tsunade seem OOC. But I don't know what she's like, besides the fact that she's a drinker and loves gambling and has impossible boobs.

Disclaimer: I really don't own Naruto. The more I watch the anime (finally), the more I think Kishimoto-san is trying to hint at Naru x Sasu, or Sasu x Naru, whatever floats your boat.

* * *

Again, at 6 am in the morning, not just insistent knocking waked both up; it seemed someone was trying smash the door down with a battering ram. Ino burrowed deeper into the couch and blankets, afraid it might be her father. Shikamaru looked in the spyhole, groaned, gritted his teeth and swung open the heavy door. 

A beautiful, well-endowed blonde woman nearly fell through; she righted herself and just GLARED at Shikamaru.

"HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL ME THE "LOST" GIRL IN YOUR HOUSE WAS YAMANAKA INOICHI'S MISSING _DAUGHTER_?" She screamed, bits of plaster floating down from the ceiling. Shikamaru rolled his eyes, while Ino poked her head up from underneath the little fortress she'd made with blankets.

"YOU ARE _SO_ DAMN LUCKY THAT I HAVE A FRIEND IN THE NEWSPAPER BUSINESS THAT RECOGNIZED YOU!" She continued screeching, "_I'M_ LUCKY THAT SHE OWED ME A FAVOR! I HAD TO TELL HER YOU WERE GAY! THAT IT WAS ALL JUST A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING!" Her voice dropped to a deadly whisper, which was much scarier than all her shouting. "Do you know what could've- _would've_ happened if the paper was actually published?"

Both young adults breathed a collective sigh of relief- so it hadn't been published. But Tsunade wasn't finished. She barged past a scowling Shikamaru to scan the living room. Ino squeaked and dived into her safe haven again, but Tsunade had already spotted her. She marched right up to the couch and began to dig through, until she finally found Ino and lifted her up to air and light again. The slim blonde girl gulped.

"Dear sweet lord! What has Shikamaru done to you?"

Ino was affronted, and her eyes flashed angrily. She took a breath, drew herself up to stand with her back ramrod straight in a way that definitely belonged to that of upper class, expensive Swiss finishing schools and almost royalty. Never mind that she had polka dotted pajamas and rumpled hair.

"I am a lady of the Yamanaka house, madam, and I ask you to unhand me this instant." She said with a voice like steel, high, noble, and absolutely undeniable. Tsunade let go of her immediately, but reluctantly. A vein was pulsing in her forehead. Shikamaru surreptitiously moved so that a table stood between him and the wrath of two females.

"Mr. Nara here was kind and generous enough to let me live in his home, knowing full well of the consequences of his actions. I came here willingly and gladly, also well aware of my actions. He has been a true gentleman to me, and treated me with the utmost respect. Nothing was forced of me, and we have done nothing shameful. I will also take all the responsibilities if this were to get to the press. I am not Yamanaka Ino for nothing."

"Whoa," Tsunade and Shikamaru said in unison. Ino continued to look at Tsunade with a superior look on her pretty features, obviously waiting for an answer. She didn't like the woman, but had to respect her: lesser men have quailed (and even melted) under her glare. Shikamaru braced himself; Tsunade was not known for her easy temper. So he was quite surprised when the woman didn't explode. In fact, the vein disappeared and Tsunade swallowed her anger.

"Well, for one thing, I wasn't suggesting that you guys did anything erm, shameful, excuse me if you took it the wrong way." _She's apologizing? _Shikamaru thought in disbelief.

"Second, I've already burned all copies of the photos, and 'dealt' with the paparazzi. When he was tort- when he was interrogated, he told me that the person that hired him to follow you was a man named 'Kabuto.'"

Ino caught her breath. Tsunade continued.

"Now, would you guys like to explain to me what happened?"

Ino turned around to look at Shikamaru with a pointed look. He sighed, and walked over to stand beside her. _Pushover_, Ino thought teasingly.

"I'll explain," he said gravely, and Tsunade automatically sat down on the couch.

"Thanks, Shika!" She smiled at him. "Would you like something to drink, miss?" She turned her attention to Tsunade, who looked surprised at this sudden change of attitude. She didn't miss the nickname she made for him either. She nodded slowly and said, "Sake."

Ino cocked an eyebrow, _what the hell is this woman thinking, drinking sake at this time of the day?_ But she went anyway, rummaging around the cabinet.

"I was in a bar," Shikamaru began, after Ino came back with coffee for him and sake for Tsunade. She settled down beside him with Dr. Pepper in hand. "Generally throwing myself a little self-pity party…" And went on until he came to the part about her being a pole dancer. He looked at her questioningly. She grinned wickedly and announced to a stunned Tsunade, "I'm a pole dancer."

The older woman swooned; the second richest and most powerful girl in the country ran away to become… become a pole dancer? She took a large swig of sake. Shikamaru rolled his eyes, _women and their theatrics. _He coughed and went on with the story.

"So you are telling me, that Inoichi wanted to marry you off the most eligible bachelor in the country, and you refused because of your best friend?" Tsunade asked 10 minutes later.

Ino nodded, resolute in her decision. Tsunade let out a whoosh of air and gave a low whistle.

"Wow, that's pretty… amazing, I suppose, very courageous." She smiled at the surprised heiress. Ino smiled back, immediately relaxing.

"Um… Sorry about the snobby attitude before… I'm not normally like that." Ino said guiltily a bit embarrassed about her behaviour before. She hated apologizing, but she did act like a brat.

"It's alright, I did sound like I was jumping to conclusions." Tsunade smiled at her again, and all was well. Shikamaru sighed in relief; it wouldn't do to have two women angry with each other, much less these two.

"Oh, yeah. Ino, this is Tsunade, my boss." Shikamaru made the late introductions, looking from one blonde to the other.

"Oh." Ino blinked, "Well, that explains a lot. Are you one of my dad's lawyers?"

Tsunade blinked, and looked at Shikamaru. He nodded, thinking that perhaps they should all come clean.

"Well, sort of. Shikamaru may have told you that he's a lawyer, and that's partially true… Actually, he's a military strategist. His father was the general Nara Shikaku."

Ino's eyes widened. She gaped, looked at Shikamaru then at Tsunade, back to Shikamaru.

"OHMYGOD! I used to know you! At um, my 6th birthday party! You went into the corner and decided to sleep! I knew you looked familiar!"Ino stood up on the couch and flailed her arms, pointing at him dramatically. _I'm such an idiot! How can I not remember that ridiculous monstrosity he calls a hair do? _She mentally kicked herself.

Shikamaru shrugged, having remembered the incident ages ago. "I was sleepy, and I didn't like parties." Ino glared at him.

"I spent a week moping because I thought the party wasn't fun enough!"Finger again, perfectly manicured.

"It's not my fault- "Arms up in defense, perfectly whipped.

Tsunade broke in- "Miss Yamanaka, you do know that your father is worried to insanity about you?" Ino immediately looked sheepish.

"Yeah, but I don't want to marry Sasuke!" She pouted, looking extremely childish.

"Why did you tense up when Tsunade mentioned the name 'Kabuto'?" Shikamaru asked, rubbing his temples. Ino frowned.

"He was one of my dad's men. Real slimy guy, I hated him from the moment we met, but I never really got involved with dad's business, so I didn't have to see him a lot. He was the one that suggested to dad to marry me off." She was scowling now, "That dipshit! He must've sent stupid paparazzi after me!" Then she swore in more colorful languages. Tsunade looked impressed.

"So what are you going to do now? If Inoichi hears about your location from that Kabuto guy, I'd bet every dollar I have that he'll come storming here, not to mention that he'll be very likely to believe everything Kabuto tells him." Tsunade took an impressive swig of her sake. _And that's one bet she'll actually win,_ Shikamaru thought wryly.

"Well uh, erm… ahem…" Ino trailed off, and looked at Shikamaru hopefully.

"If that is the case, I suppose we'll just have to talk to Mr. Yamanaka first." Ino's eyes widened, and she stared at him incredulously. He held up a hand to stem her flow of questions and protestations, and continued. "We stand a better chance of striking a deal with him if we go to him willingly, and not as fugitives." He didn't have to mention that he'd probably be arrested.

"Then I suggest you go as soon as possible, since Kabuto might find out that the photos didn't go through." Tsunade looked over the rim of her cup with a stern yet kindly look at the poor guy.

"Alright." Shikamaru grumbled, and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"BOOYA!" Ino yelled, punching the air, all signs of tearful despair gone, replaced by a triumphant look.

Shikamaru had a feeling that he was just played.

* * *

You know, the more I read this chapter, the more I hate it. But I'm tired, it's Friday and I don't really feel like writing more. I can't remember what it's like to not be sleepy everyday. Insomnia really takes its toll on you. TTOTT 

Review please, and chase away my demons!

Cheers,  
Earthborne


	5. Home

Ok, so this is brutally short too... But I HAD to put it up in honor of Shika and Ino's birthdays! Yesh, Septemember 22nd is our favourite lazy genius bum's birthday while September 23rd is our favourite bitchy blonde bombshell's birthday. Exciting, huh? Not to mention my _own_ birthday is due on the 25th!

Give me reviews for my birthday, goddamn it! And thank you all for the previous ones, I love you!

Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was Sasuke wouldn't have left Konoha (Naruto) wouldn't have betrayed his friends (Naruto) and would end up with Naruto. Shite, I said that out loud, didn't I?

_

* * *

_

_Yamanaka Corps is one impressive building, _Shikamaru thought, as he craned his neck to stare at the majestic sky-scraping monstrous tower of glass and steel. Ino fidgeted slightly beside him, picking at her disguise. They had tucked her blonde locks into a cap, and pulled a gray hoodie over it. She wore loose, baggy jeans and converse sneakers, and reflective sunglasses, trying to pass off as simply a normal teenager. Shikamaru, however, was subjected to torture as he wore a stiff white shirt with a black jacket and black pants. He felt like pencil pusher. Ino said he actually looked kind of good like that.

They walked through the doors to receive a blast of air conditioning, and walked across the granite floor up to the counter. A young woman in her late twenties with a cropped haircut looked up from her 90-words-per-minute-typing to give them a friendly smile. It became a bit fixed when her eyes slid onto Ino.

Shikamaru pulled his license from his pocket and flipped it for the woman to see. She looked at it (the photo looked grumpy, which matched perfectly with the original) with a puzzled frown, "Mr. Nara, what can I do for you?"

"I would like an audience with Mr. Yamanaka. It's a bit of an emergency." Shikamaru mumbled, and stuffed his wallet back into his pocket. The woman (Claire, he noted, on the nametag,) nodded slowly.

"And your companion is -?"

"A friend, who has information Mr. Yamanaka would want to know."

"Wait a moment please, Mr. Nara." She picked up the phone and dialed some numbers. Shikamaru looked around the place as the woman talked into the phone. The place was huge, but there was only one counter here with a few potted plants. _They need to seriously get a new interior designer…_

The woman put the phone back into the cradle and gave him a genuine smile. "Please press the button for the top floor when you are inside the elevator, Mr. Nara." And she gave Ino a nod of acknowledgement. Shikamaru led the blonde girl into the elevator and pressed the button. Ino kept her head down with Shikamaru's instructions, and tried to quell the nervousness within her. The prodigy tried to not look so annoyed; he knew that they were being watched, and scanned for weapons of any kind, which was why there were only metal detectors and one woman to greet visitors.

They stepped into another waiting room just as Ino was about to smash the elevator's speakers, which were pumping out badly played classical music. Shikamaru wondered what idiots were manhandling the instruments; even he could play better. More potted plants, this time against foggy gray walls and dusty royal blue carpet, the chairs being of indescribable color.

"I've never realized how bland and pathetic this place looks." Ino whispered to Shikamaru, who agreed with her completely. A secretary looked up from the computer, and pressed a switch. She wordlessly waved them in, barely sparing them a look.

Shikamaru felt his stomach doing a few hurdles. If this went well, Inoichi would probably spare him; if it didn't, Shikamaru may as well end up as a listed missing. They walked into the office and felt the double oak doors behind them close with an ominous 'thunk.'

Inoichi looked up from where he was signing papers, and squinted at Shikamaru and Ino. "Nara Shikamaru! What brings you here? And who is your friend?" While his tone was friendly, it was laced with suspicion.

Shikamaru took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. _Here's for striking the stake, biting the bullet, facing the music and other such idioms_, he thought, and pushed Ino forward. She shuffled forward, took of her hoodie, her sunglasses, and finally, her cap. In a truly dramatic fashion, her piled hair fell from its position on her head to tumble down her back in silvery gold waves.

Inoichi gaped, mouthed wordlessly for a full minute, and finally stood up from his desk. He ran forward, fairly smashing the desk in his haste to get to his beloved daughter. The duo ran forward with cries of "Daddy!" and "Sweetie-pie!" and crushed each other in a tight embrace, with Inoichi sobbing uncontrollably on Ino's shoulder, while the girl herself wailed. Shikamaru stood to the side and kicked at the carpet, feeling like an intruder on such an intimate occasion.

"Pumpkin! Daddy has missed you so much! Are you hurt? Where have you been all this time? Do you have any idea just how worried I've been?" Inoichi gabbled, clutching Ino to him as if he was afraid she'd disappear.

"No, daddy, I'm alright, I've been with… friends." Inoichi didn't seem to notice her hesitation.

"Friends? Who? I've called all your friends! And they've called their friends!"

"Um… Just a few people I used to know…" Shikamaru arched an eyebrow; she wasn't really telling a lie, he was considered a friend, he supposed, and she did use to know him.

Inoichi finally looked up from Ino to fix Shikamaru with tearful eyes. "Nara! How can I ever thank you! I never realized what a good son Shikaku had! I mean, we lost touch over the years when we moved abroad, but I see that Shikaku has raised his son well!" The huge man wiped his streaming eyes with a CK handkerchief, and blew his nose loudly on it. Shikamaru sweat-dropped, and shrugged. "I was just helping someone out."

Suddenly the man's head snapped up, and his eyes narrowed on Shikamaru. "How DID you come by her anyway? I've sent agents everywhere, and yet it was you who found her? And how did you convince her to come back? Where were you before you came here?"

Shikamaru sighed; he had decided that some manipulations of the truth would be the best choice. However, Ino beat him to it. "Shika helped me when I was in dire circumstances, and he's been SO nice to me, I owe him so much. We stayed at his apartment – sorry, penthouse for a while, and um, we're actually here to talk to you about something _really_ important."

Shikamaru face palmed, knowing just what conclusions an over-protectively paranoid father would draw from her _seriously_ misleading sentences. And as we all know, he was absolutely right.

"NOOOOO!" The man roared, jumping away from his startled daughter and clutching his head in his hands, he shook his head so furiously Ino was afraid it would come off. "YOU'RE HERE TO TELL ME YOU GUYS ARE MARRIED RIGHT? OR GOING TO GET MARRIED AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO TO STOP IT AND YOU'LL ELOPE AND GET MARRIED IN BOCA AND I'LL NEVER EVER SEE YOU AGAIN, ISN'T IT! ISN'T IT! The anguished wailing of yet another Yamanaka echoed off the walls.

"We're not getting married!" Both of the younger adults replied at the same time.

"SEE! YOU EVEN SPEAK IN UNISON! AND YOU SHARE THE SAME THOUGHTS! I'M TOO LATE!" And before Shikamaru could tell him that his logic makes absolutely no sense, the man rushed over to the side where a small shrine was standing, and the picture of a beautiful woman was placed on the altar. "TELL ME, WHERE DID I GO WRONG, YUMIKO?" He clutched the photo as tears streamed down his face.

"Daddy!" Ino pouted, and stuck her hands on her hips, "We're here to talk about my supposed engagement to Sasuke!"

The giant man looked up from the altar with a hopeful expression. "You're willing to marry the Uchiha?" Shikamaru wondered if the man had selective hearing.

"No!" Ino yelled, frustrated with her father also. Inoichi almost cowered. "I'm NOT going to marry Sasuke! I've got my whole life ahead of me and I'm not going to be tied down by that anti-social prick! Even if he is really ridiculously good looking!"

Inoichi finally got up from his kneeled position on the floor to compose himself into a semblance of order.

"But… I thought you liked him?"

"Well, so did I, until you said you wanted to marry us off. I realized that it was just a simple crush. He's not… he's too 'Emo' for my tastes. I want someone more down to earth than that." Ino explained patiently, (amazing, considering her temper.) She motioned to Shikamaru to take a seat, which he gratefully did. The Yamanakas sat down as well, Ino besides him and Inoichi behind his huge (however destroyed) desk.

"So you won't marry him?" Inoichi asked, possibly still hoping for a different answer.

"I won't." Ino replied firmly.

"We are hoping, that in return for Miss Yamanaka's voluntary return, you will cancel the marriage contract." Shikamaru cut in smoothly, patiently watching the older man. Inoichi sighed, and rubbed his chin with one hand.

"Well, it's kinda hard. Both parties have agreed that the best way to merge our company is to marry our respective heirs, which in the Uchiha's case, is their _legitimate_ heir."

"There are other ways of doing so, Mr. Yamanaka." Shikamaru continued, "Right now your daughter claims that her best friend is in love with the Uchiha heir, and that he is showing signs of interest in her. If all goes well in _their_ relationship, everyone's happy and you will still have a guarantee for the merging."

The burly man stopped rubbing his chin and squinted at Shikamaru, as if scrutinizing him closely. "When did you get so smart?" Was his final reply after quite sometime. The lazy man with the pineapple hairdo sagged with defeat against the older Yamanaka's attention span, or lack thereof.

The blonde bombshell beside him bounced up and down excitedly. " Yeah, it'd be like, so awesome if everything worked out like that, right?" Shikamaru was feeling too defeated to explain.

"Alright," Inoichi said at last, "I'll discuss it with Fugaku and Mikoto."

"Yes!" Ino cheered, and jumped up. "Dad, can I go home and find Sakura?"

"Of course darling!" He pressed a button on his phone and roared into it "Escort my daughter home, pronto!" The reply was a very quick "Yes sir!"

"Now," the older man continued in a much quieter tone, "Run along, children, I have to make calls to stop the search."

"Ok. Oh and can you turn off that infuriating music in the elevator?" Ino asked sweetly. Inoichi sweat-dropped but agreed.

In a whirlwind, Shikamaru was dragged out of the office by Ino and into the elevator, this time sans boring music. A smooth and sleek black limousine waited for Ino outside of the building, its engines a barely audible purr. Ino jumped in without a second's hesitation. Shikamaru hung back.

"So… I've finished what I set out to do, right? You go home and I go home and everything's back to normal?" Shikamaru said quietly, the barest hint of hope in his voice. It was dashed, however, when Ino threw back her magnificent head and laughed.

"No, silly! I have to bring you home and show you off to the others!" Her arm shot out, grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him into the car, whereas he was dumped unceremoniously onto the floor.

"I'm getting kidnapped, aren't I?" He mumbled into the soft wool carpet (wool carpet? In a car? What the hell was the world coming to?). Ino giggled sinisterly.

"Of course. You can't get rid of me that easily, I'm Yamanaka Ino."

"How troublesome." He groaned, and they sped off to the Yamanaka mansion.

* * *

Alright, let's have a vote. Who wants me to throw in a twist about Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto? And it ain't pretty, I assure you. In fact, people who support the SxS pairing will kill me. 


End file.
